怀念

我怀念那个可以不顾虑他人感受大声嚷嚷、大声地说出我的喜好与厌恶。

我怀念那个最初的自己。。。

Been looking for a job.
Been sending in resume to online agencies, to NHG polyclinic and hospital.

Been receiving calls from the online agencies, asking me to take up temp jobs and its admin related.
I thought it has been made clear that i am interested in medical services.
Why admin then?
I have no prior experience and i am not interested.
Ended up i have to reject them and answer their "why?" questions...
Some gave me a laughter that i am asking too much from them.

I don't think i am that choosy.
I rejected all these recommendations, because none of the recommendations made appears to fall under what i have requested for.
I mean, what is the point of making recommendations that is not suitable to one's preferences and face rejection.
I think this is a total waste of time.

Seems like i can't trust these agencies at all...

This post is a little late, but well, i have ended my attachment. The evaluation that i received is something that i have never expected. But i am glad, i am not that bad after all in her eyes. And yes, i have ended school.

Now i am looking for a job. This is really hard. Deep inside, i know that working would never be as easy as schooling. Not that in school, i do not feel the diffculites and stress. It just that, you do not have to worry so much. You just have to play your part as a student and you are more or less in a protected environment. In a working environment, everything that you do would reflect you as an individual. There is no one who will speak up for you and cover you up. No forgetting that there is annual appraisals, one wrong move that you make can determine whether you land in heaven or hell. The truth is one bad appraisal is enough to land you in a hell state forever. (This is true, from what i have heard.)

As i grew, i have the urge to go back to my sec school years, which i am most happy of, from my memories. But, the reality is- we all have to grow up and move on in life.

So, yes, i am rotting at home.

I have applied for uni and work. But i don't think i would get into uni, just trying my luck and i shall soon receive the letters of rejection, i guess. Work wise, because of my insufficient drug knowledge, i don't think i can get the position that i want to. I do not mind a lower position, just hoping that the work place is not too far from my place.

走向春天的下午

风还是一样地吹。
花还是一样地开。
太阳还是一样地升起。
可是有些事情已经变得不一样了。

真希望无忧无虑的日子能永远停留。
真希望烦闷难过的事能永远离去。

有些时候真想躲进一个没有人找得到的角落。
我害怕一个人长大，
长大以后就永远回不来了。

相聚的时光像火花，
佈满天空却转眼就消失。
思念的心情却像种子，
埋在最深的心底慢慢发芽。

--- 几米 《走向春天的下午》

Through the past weeks, with the comparison made with the others: i find that in a way, she just leave me as i am most of the time.

To put it simply, she doesn't really help me in areas where i am having problems with, even after i have made effort to research and find the solution. In this instance, i did not meant- spoon feed, please do not mistaken me. *I meant guidance and help, since she initiated the question.

But as for the other things that she should do, yes, she did them.

And she is really stern and have high expectations. I won't pint high hopes for my evaluation in any single bit.

No matter what, she has helped me as and when necessary (prn). Only pharma people will know prn, LOL!

Thank you.